This is something i find very hard to talk about because when i do it just reminds me that he isn't here anymore. Anyone who knew my dad knew he was stubborn, hard headed, always right and always did what he wanted. He was also kind hearted, loving, supportive and a big softy. I feel angry he was taken when i was only 23. One thing that will stay with me forever is how he was always there for me and at one point he was my only friend.
When we were younger my dad worked abroad alot so we barely saw him, so it was like Christmas every day he came home. He used to always play his music really loud at the weekend and we would sit downstairs on the floor listening to songs all day.
As i grew up i resented my dad for not being there, i guess i was too young to realise he worked so hard to give us everything we wanted. We disagreed on alot of things and grew apart. He became very depressed at home after his accident and it was very hard to talk to him. I should have tried to help him more and i regret that everyday.
When i became pregnant for the first time he was so excited and couldn't wait to be a grandad. When i lost the baby he was there for me and we started to become close again and it felt like old times. Unfortunately this was 3 months before he died.
There are things i will never have like him walking me down the aisle, our father daughter dance and meeting my daughter Sofia. It breaks my heart she will never know him. But there are things i will cherish forever, secrets and memories.
I miss him more everyday and the hole that's missing never goes away.
If your dad is still here give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him x
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