My Dad x

My dad passed away from a sudden heart attack on Sunday 6th may 2012 at 47.
This is something i find very hard to talk about because when i do it just reminds me that he isn't here anymore. Anyone who knew my dad knew he was stubborn, hard headed, always right and always did what he wanted. He was also kind hearted, loving, supportive and a big softy. I feel angry he was taken when i was only 23. One thing that will stay with me forever is how he was always there for me and at one point he was my only friend.

When we were younger my dad worked abroad alot so we barely saw him, so it was like Christmas every day he came home. He used to always play his music really loud at the weekend and we would sit downstairs on the floor listening to songs all day.

 As i grew up i resented my dad for not being there, i guess i was too young to realise he worked so hard to give us everything we wanted. We disagreed on alot of things and grew apart. He became very depressed at home after his accident and it was very hard to talk to him. I should have tried to help him more and i regret that everyday.

When i became pregnant for the first time he was so excited and couldn't wait to be a grandad. When i lost the baby he was there for me and we started to become close again and it felt like old times. Unfortunately this was 3 months before he died.

There are things i will never have like him walking me down the aisle, our father daughter dance and meeting my daughter Sofia. It breaks my heart she will never know him. But there are things i will cherish forever, secrets and memories.

I miss him more everyday and the hole that's missing never goes away. 

If your dad is still here give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him x

4 months postpartum!

I am now 4 months postpartum! This month I am starting to finally feel back to myself. I stopped going to the exercise class in Mount Wolseley it was just too much I found she pushed us to much too soon. I started circuit training so I know with that I can go at my own pace. Matty's job recently gave us a tennis club membership for the year so we are starting that soon aswel.

I have been getting spasms in my back which my doctor said is nerve pain from having sofia so hopefully keep working out will relive some of the pain. He checked my stomach muscles and they are finally back together now so it doesn't hurt as much to do sit-ups.

Weight 4 months postpartum: 10 stone 9.

So far now ive lost 33lbs since I had Sofia. I want to lose the last 9lbs to be back to my pre-pregnancy weight. I lost 4lbs this month which is on track that I want to lose 1lb a week. I can hardly believe i put on 42lbs when i was pregnant! I know for sure next time im pregnant i will have a healthier diet and do light exercise so i dont pile on the weight again.
I have cut out so much junk food now I barely ever eat chocolate but if im craving it I will have it.

 

                         40 weeks pregnant                                             4 months postpartum

 

 Me and my little girl x

Sofia's 4 month update!

Sofia is 18 weeks old now! She doesn't seem like a little baby anymore, she's getting bigger each week and she knows what she wants already!
We recently went to the health nurse for her check up at 3 and a half months and she was 13lb 7oz's and 63cm long. She has always been a tall baby and is above average for her age. 

Baby's first solids!

We first tried her with the Heinz baby rice and she liked it but it bound her up too much so we took her off it and have her on the Milupa orange cereal now. At the moment she is having about 7-8 small spoonfuls each morning so she's gradually getting used to it.

In the evening around 5 we give her a fruit mix or a dinner and she loves it, she cant eat it quick enough. Her favourite so far is the apple and pear cow and gate pots or chicken dinners.

Milestones!

• One cute thing Sofia will do now when shes laughs is acting shy. She hides her face and smiles it's so adorable.
• She's so good at tummy time and holds her head right up for ages and moves her legs, i think she will be an early walker.
• She is non stop babbling now and gurgling its like she almost wants to talk.  
• She laughs so much now like proper belly laughs and is getting tickle-ish! 
• She has started screaming or screeching really loud to get attention it's so funny. 
• She is so close to rolling over now. 

Routine!

She wakes up around 9-9.30 now on a good morning and has her bottle. Then around half 10 we give her her orange cereal. She will usually nap around 11.30 for about an hour, maybe 2 if were lucky. Then at 2 she has another feed. Some days she will be awake or have another nap but it isnt usually for very long. At about 5 she has a few spoonfuls of her fruit or dinner then her bottle at 6. She usually goes on her play mat or in her jumperoo for about an hour. We do her bath around 8 and then she has another bottle at 10. She gets fussy after that and will stay awake till 1 most nights. Depending on her she will have a few ounces or go straight to sleep.

Baby's First Photoshoot! 

Sofia won a free photoshoot with pixifoto in mothercare. She was a bit cranky to start with but then as she got used to her surroundings she was smiling away and we got some lovely photos.

Getting baby ready for her first St Patricks day :)